Yeah, no, whatever. I’m an idea person; execution has not always been my strong suit. So having a blog where I write about my efforts to look like a normal, average fucking human being instead of a middle-aged mom who “would be pretty if she weren’t so fat” haven’t gone so well. Most everything I try to write turns into just “my life as a dumpster fire slash sometimes political ranting slash occasional inspirational crap”.
However. Somewhere along the way I have actually started to lose some weight. I think it was the apathy of depression/stress rearing it’s head at first, like “I have no desire to put anything in my mouth at the moment”. Followed by a trip to the mountains where my cousin and I took a picture together and after looking at it, I kind of wished I could just jump off the overlook we were on. Then, and this part is strange but stay with me, while in the mountains I saw “Bohemian Rhapsody” (for the first time; I’m not saying how many times I’ve been since it’s been in cinema, nor how many cast/band interviews I’ve watched since)**. I rediscovered my love affair with Queen that I had all but forgotten about in the past 15 years. I used to listen to Queen all the time; I distinctly remember buying the Greatest Hits album at the Virgin Superstore in Times Square in the late 90’s (or very early 2000’s…one of my closest friends lived in the city and I visited about every 9 months for a solid few years). I also distinctly remember watching the broadcast of the old concert at the Bowl at Milton Keynes several times as a teenager (I swear BBC used to air it and PBS picked it up), and I thought Freddie was a God (I was right). I remember watching LiveAid with my parents in the 80’s and Honest to God, her majesty’s performance is the ONLY one I can recall from that day.
In any case, when I remembered what I had been missing all these years and found the access to Queen’s catalogue on Spotify to be beyond measure, I began jamming. When I get home between work and dinner, and after dinner while cleaning the kitchen, I’ve been putting on my Queen Pandora station and rocking out. (I am truly obnoxious to live with; I will sing and dance to anything recognizable at any moment.) I’ve been having more frequent dance parties with the kids. I’ve been parking my car at the back of the parking lot at the movies when I go revisit the film. (Joking. Maybe.)
This inspired me to start taking more walks, both alone and with the family. As an extrovert that still desperately needs alone time, I’m starting to enjoy my after-dark walks once the kids are in bed. I’ve been drinking water and cutting soda as well. I know there are other changes I can make down the road, but I figure it’s best to do this slowly by making one simple change each time I hit a plateau. Before I’ve tried to go whole hog into Sweeping Life Changes all at once and honestly, I fail fast on that. (This also started in November, lest you think I’m the type of person to make New Years’ Resolutions.) Now all of a sudden I find myself the owner of a FitBit (a gift) and tracking my sleep and shit.
I’ve lost about 5lbs a month and it does make me excited to step on the scale and see a smaller number. It also makes me very, very happy to put my pants on for work and realize that I have 3 pairs I have to get rid of now. I’m buying new pants and not looking back. I have a long way to go, yada yada inspo or whatever…but I’m buying new fucking pants and giving life the English V. And listening to Queen 40. A lot.
**I’m not going to make a whole post about the Golden Globes, but if you want to know my honest opinion, it’s kind of a weak year for the type of movies that win awards. In almost any other year, this would not have happened and I’m cinephile enough to admit it. I do not think it’s a “perfect” movie, but I do think it’s more than most critics say: it’s entertaining, all of the actors gave absolutely terrific performances, and it celebrates Freddie. It has scripting problems and feels a little cut/paste at times, but overall I’d pay to see it again (and I will absolutely buy it, hoping to see the cut scene of the live performance of my fave Queen song, ’39). Rami’s was the only nominated performance I’ve seen, but I thought he was brilliant. And now I’ll stop talking about. Maybe.